Sunday, October 12, 2008

Scenario 1

Dear Racists,

It's looking much better for Obama these days.
The Economy is crap.
And my Euro is down.

I'm not a very happy camper.

We don't like Obama. He is scary and he can't be trusted because...Well, he is Black and his name is Barak Obama.

But listen to McCain when he tells you not to actually articulate that OUT LOUD. It's ok to think it, but if you say it...especially On Tape, you kinda shoot yourself and the whole campaign in the foot.

So please keep your cousins and crazy uncles under control, or better yet, don't let them out of the house until Nov 4th.

And if in the worst case scenario, Obama does actually get elected, for God's sake, don't go out and try to shoot the guy yourselves. That would reflect terribly on the Republican Party.

Besides, there are perfectly competent government officials and high level international business corporations who are far more equipped and able to take care of those sorts of things.

If you feel you must do something in protest, I suggest organizing yourselves. Not to be productive in anyway, but to sit around, drinking beer and blaming the end of the world on Barak, Blacks, Liberals and illegal immigrants.

Be sure to always speak in font of your children so that they understand from an early age that although economically in the same boat as their darker counterparts, they are innately superior by birthright, and have been unjustly robed of their inheritance.

It will be important to use all of your energy being a victim and pointing your finger.
It will be imperative that you throw in your towel and refuse to cooperate with Those People.

This will enable you, at the end of the day, jobless, penniless and destitute, to blame your condition on the government. To rightfully, as True Americans, revolt against its inherent oppression and reverse racism- to fight for your rights as your forefathers had done.

Your targets will be clear. Their uppity attitudes and air of entitlement will burn you from the inside out. And they will almost look down on you as losers. Them looking down on you in a country your fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers created.

The loose-knit community that threatened in the late 80's and early 90's will come together once again under a uniform umbrella of what is familiar and what looks and sounds like 'Us'...And together, finally united and organized, the war will be waged.

Who knew WWIII would look like this?

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