Wednesday, September 17, 2008

God's Will

Dear Racists,

I think it is wonderful that pathetic women everywhere are trying to live their lives vicariously through Sarah Palin.

Being hot with a vagina and a brain is not always easy.

As someone who has risen to the top countless times and in countless countries not just based on my brains alone, I welcome the increasing number of you women who choose a surrogate as opposed to strapping on a pair of balls yourselves and making things happen.

Since you will never be strong enough to take the risks, make the decisions, and step on the heads needed to get ahead, it is very important for you prop those of us up who can.

Because, while your appearance and lack of focus may hinder your goals, we have been blessed by God with our bodies and our smiles and our ruthless desire to succeed. I believe it is his will. Seeing yourself in us is Gods way of numbing your pain.

Vote McCain.

You don't have to be hot and successful yourselves to be a part of the movement. You just have to close your eyes and pretend to be.


Phil Gray said...

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

If you grow up in Hawaii, and are raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, hmmm, you're a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School, you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring or co-sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the
governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become
the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a good Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're a responsible parent.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a
prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is patriotic and American.

OK, much clearer now.

Vote Palin, McCain's gonna croak soon anyhow.

MAds said...

Now, Now, bitter Black man. Dont get yourself all worked up. You may end up getting drunk and smacking some hoe around.